Wednesday, 26 April 2017

Unicorns. Chasing. 3. Please Try to Keep Up.

We go visit my great aunt and uncle who are 90 and almost 92 respectively and bring them hot chocolate with whip.

We apologize for not bringing Unicorn Frappuccinos.

(First we explain what Unicorn Frappuccinos are.)

(Yes we told them about the sugar, but what do you think is hiding in your kale smoothie there Mister, so please don't judge.)

Wait. B says. They have Unicorn Frappuccinos downtown across from the Bell Centre.

How do you know?

Well, while I was in there having my vegan drink re-made for the third time I heard the baristas talking.

They said there was one location in the city that still had th-

Before his sentence was even finished he was on the phone to the-

Before he was even off the phone with them, we had peeled away from the curb, tires squealing.

Lessons Learned

1. Sometimes you might be willing to travel to upstate New York great lengths but what you are looking for is actually available right next door

2. If you're vegan and you drink Frappuccinos you will have access to information that the rest of us couldn't even pay for

3. If you have your drink re-made multiple times, the baristas will "accidentally" leak top-secret-classified corporate information to you just to get you out of their store

4. Although we are all sad that the Canadiens lost the playoffs, the Bell Centre is still good for something

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

Chasing Unicorns: 2

But before we leave the country to throw hard-earned cash at a greedy multi-national we should probably call first.

T calls.



May have to drown sorrows in hot chocolate with whip, which if it's any consolation, I'm sure also has 59 spoonfuls of sugar.

Meanwhile have promised 18 year old B that we are going on a Starbucks run and he is still jonesing for a Vegan Frappuccino, no unicorns necessary.

Go to second Starbucks in neighborhood so that B can get his almond soy coconut situation sorted.

Mom this tastes kind of funny, it's not sweet enough (they probably stopped after spoonful 57) so I need them to make me a new one.

They make him a new one.

It still tastes kind of funny Mom and not like I need them to make me a new one or whatever but they shouldn't be selling these to like other vegans customers so I need to say something.

We will wait in the car.

15 minutes elapse.

B comes out juggling multiple (well at least two) Vegan drinks and pours a bit of this into some of that until he has exactly the right mix of Frappuccino which frankly seems just as complicated as the Unicorn however is neither pink nor purple.

And therefore not what we are looking for.

Monday, 24 April 2017

Chasing Unicorns

Starbucks came out with a Unicorn Frappuccino.

It's pink.

It's also purple.

(Changes colours).

It's sweet.

It's also tart.

(Changes flavours).

Whipped cream. Powdered pink and purple candy sprinkled on top.

Only available till Sunday.

Well Today Is Saturday so This Shouldn't Be  A Problem.

Stop at Starbucks in neighbourhood.

Sold out.

Thankfully Starbucks retail locations are not hard to come by.

12 year old daughter T starts calling around.



Are you kidding me?


Unicorns are as elusive as we have always been led to believe.

Mom will you take me to Plattsburgh (which is not only across state lanes but in another country) to put 59 spoonfuls of pure sugar into my pre-pubescent system?


We have passports. We have time.

We can go tomorrow.