Monday, 3 September 2012

With Special Thanks to S for Today's Story Idea

Story 1:  I Guess the Belgian Waffles, Cereal Bar and Full Breakfast Buffet Weren't Enough For You

B's Bar Mitzvah ends at 2pm on a Sunday.

Can I have some friends over?


Can we walk home?


Can we stop at the Convenience Store for something to eat on the way home?

Story 2: Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The, Um, 

Parents graciously providing transportation to out of town Bar Mitzvah party.

All Guests must be at the shopping centre parking lot at 5pm to catch the bus.

5:06pm friend comes to the door to pick up B.

B is in the shower.

Bang on door.  Hurry up, friend is here.  Late for bus.

Hang on a sec.

Can't hang on a sec.  Bus left 7 minutes ago.

Calmly emerges. I'll get dressed in the car.

Runs out of house dripping wet, boxers only, clutching skinny jeans and a black button down, converse slung around his neck, cloud of Axe trailing in the air.

Am sure they are going to miss the bus and I am going to be stuck driving them 67 minutes up north.

Miraculously bus hasn't left yet.

Oh Mom did I say 5pm?  I meant 5:30.

Story 3: Dude, Where's Your Bar Mitzvah?

B allegedly invited to Bar Mitzvah of alleged very good friend, however no invitation was actually produced.

Adamant that is expected to be somewhere at some point this morning, details not readily available.

I posted on Facebook that was looking for Bar Mitzvah.

Went on synagogue web sites and scanned weekly bulletins.


Mom, it's fine.  Just found out where and when we have to be there. We aren't even late.

How did you find out?

Just texted the Bar Mitzvah boy.  He's on his way to the synagogue now.