Monday 30 July 2012
My Veggie Burger was Fine Though, Thanks for Asking
Stuck in Tourist Trap for overpriced lunch.
Service could have been faster.
Fish and chips could have been crispier.
Fries could have been a salad.
Beer could have arrived before dessert.
Waiter could have ignored the situation.
Instead, he came to our table.
Coffee's on me today folks.
I like that he tried.
Wednesday 25 July 2012
Same Story Twice
One
Giving "How to Complain Effectively" speech to Association of Retired University Professors.
Running late.
Shortcut through construction zone never a good idea.
Front passenger tire learned that the hard way.
Roadside Assistance.
Fixed tire, back at work, piece of cake.
Two weeks later Husband moves car early in morning. Still denying that he left the lights on. Car won't start.
Roadside Assistance.
Same tow truck pulls up. Same guy gets out of car.
We both crack up.
Thank g-d I tipped him the first time.
Two
First cousin once removed sees total stranger wearing fabulous dress. Had to have it.
Wants to ask woman where she got it.
Daughter is mortified. If you even glance in that woman's direction I am going home.
Once removed says we are in New York City. We will never see her again.
Stops woman in dress - Where? What? How?
Dress is flattered. Says two blocks west, across the street, on the right.
Daughter leaves on principle.
Removed goes to the store immediately.
Guess who the salesgirl is?
Bought the dress in three colours.
Giving "How to Complain Effectively" speech to Association of Retired University Professors.
Running late.
Shortcut through construction zone never a good idea.
Front passenger tire learned that the hard way.
Roadside Assistance.
Fixed tire, back at work, piece of cake.
Two weeks later Husband moves car early in morning. Still denying that he left the lights on. Car won't start.
Roadside Assistance.
Same tow truck pulls up. Same guy gets out of car.
We both crack up.
Thank g-d I tipped him the first time.
Two
First cousin once removed sees total stranger wearing fabulous dress. Had to have it.
Wants to ask woman where she got it.
Daughter is mortified. If you even glance in that woman's direction I am going home.
Once removed says we are in New York City. We will never see her again.
Stops woman in dress - Where? What? How?
Dress is flattered. Says two blocks west, across the street, on the right.
Daughter leaves on principle.
Removed goes to the store immediately.
Guess who the salesgirl is?
Bought the dress in three colours.
Monday 23 July 2012
I Also Found the Sign In Pic from My Bat Mitzvah
New job starts today.
Asked to provide proof of Master's Degree Completion.
(Sure, no problem. Have only moved 7 times since then.)
Was sure it was in specific box on specific shelf in basement.
Reached for box, slipperier than I remembered.
Noise so loud, husband came running to my rescue, stepping over shards of Hallmark picture frames as he approached.
He was sure diploma was in particular cardboard tube on particular shelf.
Then he paused.
Um Honey?
Did you look on the wall? Over your desk?
No wonder they asked for proof.
Asked to provide proof of Master's Degree Completion.
(Sure, no problem. Have only moved 7 times since then.)
Was sure it was in specific box on specific shelf in basement.
Reached for box, slipperier than I remembered.
Noise so loud, husband came running to my rescue, stepping over shards of Hallmark picture frames as he approached.
He was sure diploma was in particular cardboard tube on particular shelf.
Then he paused.
Um Honey?
Did you look on the wall? Over your desk?
No wonder they asked for proof.
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